Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
