I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
