brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I need water and some morals
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
