It's Friday. Sex?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
