Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
