I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want to make out with him forever
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
