Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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