I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
