But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
