I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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