Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
