a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
