I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
