i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
