can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
