And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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