you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
