Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
