you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
