hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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