I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
