I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
