he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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