Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
