Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Found the puke drawer
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
not ubering you a puppy
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize