the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
