Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
