I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
