I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
