happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
