belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
one might say we're banned from that church
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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