I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
