I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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