I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
