it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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