ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
