It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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