I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
