I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
