New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize