there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
