Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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