We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
