i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
