VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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