im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
