Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
