i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
