Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
