I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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