And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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