I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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