Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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