i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
