just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
