My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You may now shotgun with the bride
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
